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A combination “World’s most interesting man” and young George R.R. Martin, kinda thing. That author pic would be awesome! I mean … look at that beard, baby!

Yeah, you thought I meant the girl, didn’t you? I know, I know. She’s pretty cool, isn’t she? She could use a gun, though.

Anyway, my author commercial would be like, “Good evening. I prefer to write fiction thrillers. I write a good Sci-fi novel every now and then. A Western saga? … Why not.

“I write fiction thrillers, and sometimes I write non-fiction. But when I do, it’s usually something sarcastic. So, stay entertained, my friend.”

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Yes, the lounging around at my desk, dreaming of characters and dialog in my head. And then there’s the five margarita lunches with hot editors.

After that, it’s off to bed so the little, phonetic fairies can fly down and write my books.

In all seriousness, the fairies are awesome, and I’ve been blessed with the best afflictions that an author can contract—insomnia and the ability to crank words.

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Then I am dreaming of characters and dialog and angry anecdotes in my head.

And tomorrow my ten little, personal, phonetic fairies—some people call them fingers—are going to fly across my keyboard and write wild books for you to enjoy. Because I love this job, man!

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I’m all shiny and smiling, and just happy to get to write.

Well, okay, maybe not shiny, or smiling like that guy is, or all perfectly unshaven, or with that little gray in my hair, or a clean shower and a nice shirt, but otherwise, it’s exactly the same as he looks right there.

I wake up as excited as my readers are to find out what is going to happen next. Because though I meticulously outline plot points, my characters never behave or obey the rules. And that’s the very thing I love about all of them.

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But hey, those rarely require stitches, and she’s only had to call the paramedics once to bring me back to consciousness.

Honestly, I don’t know why she gets so worked up. We usually argue over something trivial, like when I tell her she has no grasp of the English language. Or some other low-level grammatical issue.

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But I’m telling you, the voices said I had to. And that … that’s the truth. I swear it.

Seriously though, I need the booze. No, no, not for inspiration—I gotta beat back the caffeine somehow.

Speaking of which, I might need another cup. Hang on, I’ll be right back.

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about-steve-windsor-author-toolsAre you kidding? No, my desk is never that neat. That lady at the top of the page keeps messing it up.

Anyway, if you’ve followed me down this page this far, in all seriousness, thank you. Time is a valuable commodity these days, and I appreciate yours.

Reading a book is a commitment of time. I know what you expect to get back out of it is entertainment, escape, and most importantly excitement.

You probably came to this page to learn a little about me before you committed to enjoying one of my books. I hope that I’ve helped you do that. My commitment to you is to entertain and excite you to the best of my ability as an author.

There is a hint of truth—probably more than that—in everything I said above. I pour myself into writing, because I love it. But also because I have to. Because I have finally figured out that in my soul, I’m a storyteller—I tell tall tales. And for the opportunity to do that, I am grateful.

bestselling-author-Steve-WindsorYeah, that’s me. Not quite as cool as all those pictures up above. But that’s why I put it down here. Because this isn’t about me. It’s about me … being grateful.

I am grateful for many things that allow me to write for a living—my supportive wife, my awesome kids, my fabulous editor and the friends and colleagues who support me. But most of all, I am grateful for each and every one of you, every single time you purchase, read, or review one of my books. Without you, I am simply keeping a very time-consuming diary. A totally awesome one, but a diary nonetheless.

Now, if you’re ready to join heroes and villains, and lost souls and redeemed sinners, and killers and cutthroats galore … then step into my parlor little fly, and let’s light this firecracker!

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